March 27th, 2007

blog, panic

Ask the Little Bald Bastard

  Here's a sample post from my advice column, Ask the Little Bald Bastard:

Dear LBB,
  When the hell will modern science finally find a way to replace my brain's ability to store and recall the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" theme with the ability to, say, learn Mandarin?

Slowly losing my mind,
- Bryan

Dear Bryan,
  Don't blame that shit on science. If you'd spent a decade studying Mandarin for half an hour a day, you'd be speaking fluently. Instead, you're firing up your Livejournal to compare the TMNT movie unfavorably to the original animated series. (No Shredder? The horror!)

  The feed is asklbb.
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