I hereby tantalize you with some of the current headlines from it:
- POO LA LA! MAN SPEAKS FRENCH OUT OF HIS BUTT -- And he can't understand a word!
- 10 TIPS FOR SEDUCING YOUR TEACHER! -- A whopping 99% of teenageboys fantasize about one or more of their schoolteachers.
- ILLEGAL ALIENS FLOOD INTO MEXICO & CANADA -- AND THEY'RE AMERICANS! U.S. job market is so bad!
- ALIENS CLAIM JACKO IS THEIR SON -- And they want him back!
- AL QAEDA PLANS TO DROP GAY BOMBS -- Men within 30 miles of the blast will instantly turn queer!
- TAPEWORM DIET SWEEPS HOLLYWOOD! -- 50-foot parasites are latest weight-loss craze
- WORLD'S FIRST BIGFOOT HOOKER -- 'She's more woman than most men can handle,' says exhausted john
- IS RALPH NADER THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE?
- FLY THE UN-FRIENDLY SKIES -- Coffee, tea or jihad, sir?