Livejournal Mirror of Suburban Panic Dot Com (suburban_panic) wrote in syn_promo,
Livejournal Mirror of Suburban Panic Dot Com
suburban_panic
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Ask the Little Bald Bastard

  Here's a sample post from my advice column, Ask the Little Bald Bastard:

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  I need lots... LOTS of caffeine to get me through my day, but I'm pretty sure that all that coffee is eating a hole in my stomach. Any thoughts on a cleaner delivery system?
- McTwitchy

Dear McTwitchy,
  If you're on the verge of injecting pure caffeine into your eyeballs, you'll want to try one of the approximately 80,000 "energy drinks" that have flooded the market lately. They're like soda in the sense that they're carbonated and best served cold. Unlike soda, they may also contain some amount of a dubious "herbal" stimulant, and they don't even pretend to taste better than llama urine. They're also sold in smaller containers, presumably because the caffeine content of a soda-sized serving would kill a rhinoceros.

  Check out the full answer in the feed at asklbb.
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